...serenity in motion

Looking Back but Not Living There

Sometimes the greatest gift a friend can give you is the vision of who you were and who you have become.

 As we work toward our life goals, we can loose ourselves in what we want to achieve and forget, not where we come from but more; who we were when we left.  In our efforts and work, we define our past by our awkwardness,  insecurities, and failures.  We loose sight of where we did succeed.  It is important to realize that someone in our past saw us as a hero.  They looked up to us then. When we come upon our histories in someone else’s eyes, it is important to embrace the truth of their vision.

Creative whirlwinds can be one of these eye openers.  They come into our lives; turbulent and frightening, and we need to find the courage to ride them and then find our feet when they drop us again.  They shake loose all our illusions and lies that we have built around us and bring into the light our past joy of who we were.

The Hopi Indians have this guide, they call him the sacred clown.  He is the joker but he is also the one who brings up the mirror of truth to our faces.  It’s a complicated clown, he is there to help you see your truth but to also learn to accept it and maybe even find the strength to laugh at it.

That is the gift of these friends.  The reminders they bring and help us marry together our identities of the past and the present.  Just like the creative whirlwinds, they leave us shaken.  It isn’t their responsibility to help us fuse our past and present selves.  Just like the hopi’s sacred clowns, we are forced to confront the failings and fears we thought buried. We need to build the bridge ourselves between then and now to create the whole person we have become.

I had a friend who brought the mirror of truth to my face.  He gave me the gift of clarity.  It wasn’t up to him to support me when I faced my truths. Finding my footing is the work that I had to do.  If you can do it, it is the most freeing journey you can make. The person you are when the dust settles, that is the one who will have the endurance to lead you to success.

I will always be grateful to him and to others in my life that have been my sacred clowns, my creative whirlwinds.  Remember, just because you go out one night with your “Banger Sister”; it is only visit to the past. Finding the now is where you live.